I am the one people call when they want something to look better.
Need your living room rearranged? Call Susanna.
Need someone to decorate your cake? Call Susanna.
Need something hemmed? Call Susanna.
Need to paint and embellish a paper mache dragon head to make it look cool and fun for your dragon dance? Ah! NO problem! Call Susanna!
The mom who has spear headed the whole project can be a little difficult. She is incredibly devoted to her projecst and takes the level of seriousness up a notch more then most would. Admirable in some ways, alienating in others. She is somewhat strange in that she is different. She gets in your face when she talks to you because she is deaf with cochlear implants. Already this is off putting - not because she is deaf, but because unless you are incredibly near sighted you don't want someone less then about 18 inches from your face when they are talking to you. Her daughter had some issues in Kindergarten and no one wanted to play with her (Compounded by the fact that her mom is socially awkward) People would actually say "Watch out for them". So this woman- who I will call Dragon lady because I associated her with the dragon head and also because dragons are little misunderstood- at least that is what my book say... ;) -has a big label on her forehead that has caused everyone to run the other way.
I spent last Friday afternoon with her, the dragon head, my daughter and her daughters. I had no idea what to expect but I wasn't thrilled about it. It turned out that her daughters were both intelligent and sweet. They were respectful towards their mother and Lulu decided she liked the other girl. She actually came to our house and they played beautifully together. Something in my life was skewed because this just didn't make sense. I have heard nothing but bad things.
This week at Lulu's Brownie troop meeting I was back on Dragon duty. While at the meeting Dragon mom kept asking me to do things. "Go to my car and get this fabric""Cut this" "put more of this here..." etc. At one point I just stopped and looked at her. She paused and asked me what was wrong. I just said very matter of factly "You are being really bossy." She got very flustered and apologetic. The mother next to me was shocked and it occurred to me that I don't really filter much when I am talking to someone. I am brutally honest and have gotten to the point in my life (or during my midlife crisis) that I really don't care what people think. Why shouldn't I just say it if it is really bugging me? The mom next to me said "Only you could get away with saying that." My tone wasn't bitchy, it wasn't angry it was said almost more as an observation.
Today I got a call from Dragon mom. She told me that she really appreciated and liked my honesty. It was refreshing and she wanted to know why I thought she was being bossy so that she could learn from it. I thought that was pretty great. I was actually impressed that she was open enough to understand that I wasn't trying to insult her and that she actually wanted to not be that way and wanted to try to adjust her behavior. It would be so nice if we could all be like that. To be able to be honest and grow with one another and not get pissed about it. She has gotta know that people avoid her- it takes a lot of chutzpa to listen to feedback and try to change that. I gotta give her credit for that. I am terrible at negative feedback.
With my whole exercise of trying to be less judgemental I am trying to understand Dragon mom. I can see she is HIGHLY intelligent and that this can be alienating for her. I would even venture to say that she is socially awkward and that she, herself, doesn't filter much when she speaks. She has good intentions but her execution of things is a little wacky. She is unconventional. None of these are reasons to dislike her. She is actually interesting and intriguing. I might even have coffee with her sometime.
My lesson of the day- Be open. There is so much more to see and experience when you open your window a little more. You might be plesantly surprised by what is there.
My lesson for tomorrow- To figure out why "ONLY" I could get away with saying something directly to someone. What do I do that makes me "get away" with it. Dragon Mom didn't seem the least bit offended or angry when I said it. So was it in the delivery? Something to contemplate....
and for those of you interested in knowing more about dragons and other legendary creatures....B is for Bigfoot- a legendary abc is available on Amazon.com. Sorry but this was the PERFECT place to pitch it. ha.
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