Today was one of THOSE kinds of days. I had moments where I wanted to drop the kids off at the nearest animal shelter, then other moments where I thought maybe I should just eat them. I imagined those insect videos where the praying mantis is gorging on little legs. It was one of those days where they test every inch of my patience, and I am not a particularly patient person, especially when I am on dreaded day 15 of my cycle AND on half the amount of my antidepressants. I just don't understand WHY they have to be SO impossible sometimes. Not listening, screaming, hitting each other, lying, etc. For me, it feels like a perverse exercise in sainthood.Coaxing Lulu to do something she doesn't want to do is not unlike trying to get a rock to float. I spent many exacerbating minutes trying to get her to take a free karate lesson this morning. She didn't want to do it even though 5 minutes ago she did. She said it was too much work, it was boring, she wanted to go home. The instructor came outside and tried to cajole her into coming inside. She was such an unbelievable brat that I almost cried. Parents were looking at her. Kids were looking at her. I was friggin' mortified. I told her she wouldn't get to go to the birthday party this afternoon that she was invited to, I told her she would lose ALL her points on her point chart, I told her I'd take away her American Girl doll. FINALLY she went in and she had a good time. I knew she would. Am I a bad mom for making her do it? The instrustor said she liked that I was so firm with her.
As I sat in the chair in the waiting room as Lulu punched and kicked with glee I noticed a quote up on the wall.
"Character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world"- Goethe
This was to be my motto of the day. Do I really need more character?
As my children's moods seemingly undulate, one moment sweet and smiling, the next demonic and trying I am imagining all the character I am forming.
Damn I got me some serious character today.
Hopefully so did Lulu.
As my children's moods seemingly undulate, one moment sweet and smiling, the next demonic and trying I am imagining all the character I am forming.
Damn I got me some serious character today.
Hopefully so did Lulu.
A carnival boss once told me that; if you're not a character in this world, then you're a nobody. We build character in our personality. Your personality is your soul. Your personality was essentially created from two other personalities (mother/father) so in one sense, you were born with a split-personality. Sorry. Your mission in life is to change your split-minded personality into a single-minded one before you die. You do that by making choices between the mundane decisions that you are constantly faced with. It's a battle but at least you're in the fight! It's all about Spiritual Evolution.
ReplyDeleteCONSULTING WITH THE SPIRITUAL HOBO