Thus began my adventure with my arches that want to collapse. After about 2 weeks of thinking it would get better, I decided I needed an expert. I got a recommendation from a dear friend, called the practice and took the first available appointment with one of the doctors. I didn't expect to be slightly unnerved by how handsome he was as I presented my chipped pink toenails and cracked heels. I know I am married but that doesn't mean I should look like I just don't give a damn. And eventhough I am married it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the view- right?
Now the problem with going there is that I actually get self conscious about my feet. Are they dry? Do I need to paint my toe nails? When he has me walk around in my newly adjusted orthotics is he only looking at my feet? Do I need to wear something flattering so my ass doesn't look fat?
Another mom at Lulu's school recently told me about her Hot Gynecologist. My thought on this is "fucking hell." It's one thing to get your feet checked out - it is another thing all together to have your hoohaw cranked open and then have it prodded, swabbed and inspected by someone you find attractive and who's reason for prodding and inspecting has everything to do with making sure nothing is abnormal down there. I can't EVEN imagine the routine that happens at home before going to Hot Gyno. And then lying there with your feet in stirrups with all your glory in his face. You could have some total fantasy going on in your mind and then he informs you that there is something there that isn't supposed to be there and it has nothing to do with him or HIS body parts. Ack...I cringe, I cringe! A babe of a podiatrist is about as much as I can take!
On Tuesday, I went for a splendid walk on the beach with a friend. This was the first beach walk in a while. I LOVE these walks. These walks are almost sacred to me. During the walk I felt fine and I was SO excited to finally be out there again with said dear friend. The next day, however, my feet hurt. Alot.
Today I went in to see Cute Podiatrist because number 1. my feet hurt and number 2. Shouldn't my ridiculously expensive orthotics be taking care of this?
Cute Podiatrist asked me if I could tell him about the pain and all I could think of was "You know how in the Little Mermaid when she loses her tail and gets feet and every step hurts? It's kinda like that." I know, cringe. I quickly add, in hopes of saving face, that I am currently reading that story to my daughter. At least I am wearing nailpolish and my feet were freshly moisterized and pumiced.
Cute Podiatrist thinks I should have blood work done to rule out rheumatoid arthritis. Seriously? I thought I might cry but I decided it better to "play it cool" lest Cute Podiatrist think ill of me. I told him it made me feel old but he was diplomatic and said my feet had just been through alot. I wondered if it would help if I lost some weight? Of course he says. Does this mean he WANTS me to lose weight? Does he think I am fat? Does he give a rat's ass? I said that I wanted "happy, dancey, hoppy, climby feet" and he promised he would do what he could as he smiled with those insanely blue eyes. Too bad I don't have a foot fetish- I might suggest he suck my toes.
As I sat in the waiting room of the doctors office, a woman's cell phone rang like a new age fusion jazz muzak with rain forest birds overlaid on it. She proceeded to ramble in what I think was Hebrew.
Judgement: WHAT the fuck of a kind of ring was that? Beyond that it was such a strange ring that my brain seems to have actually shut down for a moment. Then I start to wonder where does one find such a ring?
Two seconds later a heavy set latino man's cell phone starts to ring. His phone rang to the twinkly tune of Für Elise.
Judgment: Huh....Beethoven. Wouldn't have thought that.
I am noticing that because of this blog I am seeing things a little differently. I am actually trying to be less judgmental. My eyes are a little more open and I am finding that things in life, things "out there" are bizarre. So many funny things happen, so many things that can give one pause to smile. Wondering why I didn't really digest those things before. I am finding that as I try to take these things in for the purpose of trying to figure out what pieces of my life are meaningful or symbolic, I am enjoying the day more. I am trying to see the positive and I am feeling more dancey and hoppy.
I am feeling like maybe I DID climb out of the turbulent seas and am now trying to walk with both feet on the solid ground for the first time in a while. I am glad that I have Cute Podiatrist to make sure my feet don't hurt too much and I am really glad that there aren't stirrups on his chairs! And, and this is a stretch, maybe Cute Podiatrist knew EXACTLY what I meant when I was talking about the Little Mermaid. or not.
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