Frame of Mind

I enjoy talking to people- most of the time- and am always curious about everyone's story.  I am pretty intuitive about people. Though this morning at the diner we were at, I really had this feeling that I couldn't relate to ANYONE there- the trucker dude eating just cottage cheese, the lady who was so fat she needed a walker and the lady at the next table who looked like she had jumped out of the show "Big Love" and wanted the waitress to explain to her what honey wheat pancakes were.  Call me a big ol' snob but really?  Does she buy bread? Does she only buy white? Is it Wonder? Am I an idiot because I don't know what the Cinnamon Honey Fried Chicken on the menu is? I was able to talk openly about all these observations with my husband. We spoke in french and I, of course, assumed no one understood what we were saying. No one got mad so I think we were safe....

Today at Costco, as I swam amongst the sea of people scuttling around with their carts, I saw another group of people I could not relate to at all. Who ARE these people waiting for boxed orange chicken? And it is still in the microwave. And there are like 20 people standing in line. They watch with greedy faces as the lady pours a gooey brown MSG citrus sauce on the bready poultry pulp and mashes it around with a white plastic spoon. This is where I start to get all sanctimonious in my head.  Do these people give a shit about what they are putting in their bellies? The sugar, the MSG, the 67 other ingredients that I can't pronounce nor understand. Do they feed this to their kids? Why am I fatter then some of them? Judgements were aflying around in my head like flies on a corpse. Does anyone just eat plain roast chicken with maybe some lemon thyme, salt and pepper?? Again, WHY am I fatter then some of these people? I eat fresh food! Would I be thinner if I ate scuzzy chicken lumps?

As I was leaving Costco I stopped in the eyeglass area to look for some new frames.  I have  been wearing my frames from 1991 because my newer ones were lost.  My 1991 frames are SO dated and SO dorky.  I'd love to hear the comments that strangers on the fashion police force are saying. "OMG those are the DUMBEST looking glasses ever!" "That girl must not have any friends because if she did, they wouldn't let her leave the house wearing those!" "Do you think she thinks those look good?" " OOOOO Those are SO retro!" yeah right.  Back to Costco....I was looking at frames and oversaw...not overheard...a group of women trying to pick out some frames for their friend.  It was a group of 4 deaf woman madly signing to each other the pros and cons of each frame.  Being fascinated with people I  watched them out of the corner of my eye as I pretended to look at frames for myself for a few minutes. When it was clear to me that they had no friggin clue which ones would look good I picked out a pair and handed it to them. I like to help and I usually can make good "design" decisions.  They signed at me something that was either "Thank you" or " get the hell away from us creep"  The girl tried them on and they were thumbs upping and nodding their heads with approval.  I reached into the deep recesses of my brain and remembered some of the sign I learned with Lulu when she watched "Signing Time" (Which was an awesome show by the way) I thought I saw the sign for "goat" and "together."  Hmm...I wonder what goats have to do with glasses? Should I sign to them about farm animals? Or do part of that "Fuck You" Cee Lo song that girl did in sign on that You Tube video? That video is awesome, by the way.
Then they asked me what I thought of some other frames or at least I think they did because I gave them my opinion in my own version of sign language. Too heavy, too far from her face, I like horses, too much bling. One asked me did I think she needed to have one pair for work and one for going out? It was more- One-work, One- Fun? Sure. why not? So here I was in Costco "chatting" it up with a group of nice deaf women. I was finding that it wasn't so hard to understand them.  I just had to pay attention.  It was like cool charades.   It was interesting to watch one of the ladies deciphering what I was saying and signing it to the others. And I was probably nodding like I knew what the fuck she was saying with her hands.  It is amazing to me that there is a whole language that exists with just hand movements. How beautiful and cool.  Does it cross every culture? Do hands move differently in other parts of the world so that they have a visual accent??  I also realized that when I did communicate with them I spoke very quietly.  Why did I do that? Was it because they were silent? Do some people yell at them thinking that if they say it louder they can hear it?  I had no bad judgments of these women.  I liked them but I definitely classified them. Not as white or black, or fat or thin but just as "deaf". Because they essentially speak another language they are a "they".  Strange- not sure why- but strange.
As I left I thought to myself that it was nice that I didn't limit myself to JUST lip flapping at strangers,  I can after all say in sign language that there are horses, goats and chickens on the farm, that I like blue, flowers grow and Fuck you.
I am not getting any less judgemental but I am thinking more about my judgements and why I make/made them. And I forgave myself for thinking ill of the people waiting for microwaved orange chicken because, in my opinion, it is just gross.