Going against the 'Grains

Some days feel like crisis.  This morning felt a little like crisis but that was only because my head was pounding and HAD been pounding since Tuesday.  I was worried that I'd caught Lulu's bug that had kept her home since last Friday.  I also had this idea that because I am not on Wellbutrin anymore that maybe my migraines had gone away. Not so.  After 2 days of brain thumping, I reluctantly took my Maxalt this morning and got rid of most of my headache. How to get rid of the rest of it?
After dropping the kids off at school, I came home and had a bong hit of "Chocolope" did the job and I was able to carry on with my day, headache free. I even happily cleaned the house.
Yes, I am a certified, prescription carrying weed smoking mom. I have a pretty lavender bong in my medicine cabinet along with a couple of different strains of pot in a fashionable little LeSportsac bag. I only smoke a few times a week.  And it has made a HELL of a difference in my life.  I don't wake and bake, do it in front of my kids or operate machinery while "under the influence."  I don't think I am any less of a good mother as a result.  In fact, I think it has made me a better mom. I don't really drink, I don't smoke cigarettes. I never smoke more then a little. And I usually do it when the kids are at school or have gone to bed.

I went and got my $45 prescription at a shady place on Sawtelle and Pico.  One of the stranger places I have been. I rang the doorbell and was greeted by a very happy and efficient Asian man. He was NOT stoned and was very, for lack of a better word, perky. I waited a few minutes for "the doctor" and was lead through a small hallway, past an older Asian lady working at a desk- in the hallway- and into a storage closet.  The room was lined with multicolored files and below them sitting at an old dilapidated formica desk was Kim Jong-Il.  Actually it wasn't him but it looked like him and it's more fun to think of him giving me a prescription for pot.  He asked me a series of questions and then gave me my prescription because "Cannabis VERY good for migraine". I wondered if I had somehow broken a law as I passed a young lad slouched in a chair with his skateboard waiting to see the dictator.
I immediately went to the collective near my house. How friggin convenient.  They took my prescription and told me that I could come back in 24 hours and get my "meds". HOW psyched was I?
The collective is a place that I actually love going to because they are so damn nice and really want to help. It isn't remotely sleazy and doesn't make me feel like I am doing something wrong.  I was that kid that came home when I was supposed to and felt guilty if I did anything "wrong". So this works for me.  The people of the collective DO ask their members to grow at home if they can. I can't quite wrap my head around that one. I have a hard time imagining myself as a weed farmer. I have images of my gardeners lying on my chaises smoking joints saying "hoooooombre" to each other.

I have figured out that I can get the effects of cannabis without being a spaced out mom version of Spicoli.  Who knew at the ripe age of 42 that I would know the differences between Indica and Sativa?
In my college years I smoked mostly indica. For me, indica is the stony, glazed eyes, chuckling sporadically, munchy inspiring, staring at the wall and falling asleep variety.  Doooooooooood- this is sedating.
I much prefer Sativa- which is a more cerebral, uplifting yet relaxing, I can function and I bet you can't tell I just smoked variety. I have had a couple of hybrids which have been okay but really I just like good ol' Sativa.  Fire Diesel, Blue Dream, Chocolope are a few that I have had success with.  It amazes me how incredibly effective it is in getting rid of migraines. I think my problem is that my brain goes at 723 miles an hour, I get stressed out, start gnashing my teeth and then get a headache among other things. Makes it really hard to function without trying to chew your own arm off.  It feels good to slow down. I actually feel inspired to do art and write afterwards as well...almost like being more myself.
How many mom's drink wine? How many smoke cigarettes? I suppose I could have a couple of glasses of wine and get tipsy but that Mama's helper doesn't work as well for me.  No one has EVER died from a marijuana overdose.
Being a mom/caregiver, it is important to me to be alert and I can actually remain so on Sativa. Why am I trying to make excuses? Probably because there are so many people out there who think the devil now has control of my soul or something. There is no place for judgment here- we all do what is best for us. 
So on the days that "crisis" really feels like it is wrapping its midlife claws around my neck, it is nice to know that I can toke it up, exhale and get through my day or evening.  It is also sort of funny, strange, annoying and ironic that I am addicted to Cymbalta- totally legal everywhere. I can't get off it, like a crazed heroin junky.  It hasn't even made me happier.  The pot HAS and it's natural. Damn. Who can argue with THAT?

Mommy and Daddy (Yes, I call them that) don't be mad... I can't believe at 42 I am saying that. But hey...I care. At least it's not crack.