Garden stares

I've mentioned that in I am a designer. I haven't done much of it recently and "redoing" our backyard and garage is eluding me slightly.  For the past couple weeks I have spent a few minutes a day sitting on the steps at the back of my house pretty much just staring.  I can stare for long periods of time.  In fact, as a kid I had a friend who's bedroom window had an amazing jetliner view of La Jolla and the ocean.  I used to love to stand at her window and just stare look stare.  So much so, that my friend thought for sure that someday I would be a pilot.
So I sit in my backyard and play pilot and try to figure out what the hell to do with the space.
Take out the concrete, leave the concrete, keep part of it, take it all away...grass? DG? new concrete but not grey? I like stepstone pavers...too bad they are so pricey. No they aren't that pricey but my backyard is big...Could I do some of it like that? Is it too "Piece meal" looking like my mom says?  hmmmm...16' opening....oxxo slider door...no bi fold, no glass garage door, no oxxo, xxxo? Does that exist? Ugh Fleetwood...pricey...gotta empty out the garage....steps, steps....deck? Pergola...Need to take out dead passion flower vine. What happened to that vine anyway? Tree...need a tree...what would Ann do? gotta check out her garden again....Maybe the library has some good garden design books...Garden design books are always pricey...ART books are expensive....How does that squirrel carry that orange? Be nice to have more birds...need a tree...Mexican bamboo...definitely need some of that...Need an overall design. Concrete? pavers? Deck maybe a tree BY the deck? need to have different things going on. Kids need a good surface to bike/skate on. Damn...bricks? bad for skateboard...Does Oliver even like skateboarding. He did it once last week. Oops...Asparagus bloomed..bummer...need to take out some of that ginger plant...Freakishly big. need to cut top off of nectarine tree. I miss the plum tree. but now I can take away the concrete. Sand colored? DG? put the table there? What would Ann do? Her garden rocks. Garage door...oxxo slider? bi fold? is there such a thing as a xxxo? It is probably a million dollars.  How can that guy take away all this concrete AND dispose of it for so little? Gotta get Sam to understand that we can't take out the concrete until we have a plan. need a plan...need a plan. Fuck...Why can't I do this?
Meanwhile my eyes are scanning back and forth.  I am probably sighing a lot and wishing my inner yammer made a little more sense. It is very circular.   But I think I have these inner dialogues about everything.  Over analytical perhaps.  Maybe I should have the kids each draw a design and try to incorporate some of their ideas? Oh yeah- we need a rocket ship in the corner and a tree house on the roof. and a fairy garden with a gazillion figurines and maybe a fountain. SO what I had in mind.  I just want an awesome space. and then the inside of the garage...I could go on for hours forever.  But I DO have the skylights.  What is strange is usually I have a vision in my head of what I want and I can execute it. My garden totally eludes me.  My garage I see but with impaired vision. Frustrating.
I think I should take pictures tomorrow and document my progression. SO original, I know. Maybe by doing that I can clarify that- because writing this blog thingy is sure helping me to clarify some shit in my life even if it bores you to tears.

Here is a golden tidbit for you.... I am a research whore and a half. Sliding and or Bi fold doors are expensive- especially when you have a 16' opening to cover.  Bi folds are cool because you can essentially open up the whole wall to the outside. If you think you won't always open it all the way and don't want parts of it sticking out when it is partially folded then a slider makes more sense.  You can do these in different configurations but always make sure that if you want something like an oxxo- meaning that the outside panels are stationary and the inner two open- that there isn't a center post. The cheaper doors have this.  Again, doors are expensive.  If you need sliding glass doors there is a company called G-ology that has some great looking and less expensive then other doors.  I am thinking about getting the 4 panel sliding g-door...or the bifold.  I haven't seen these doors in person but they look nice from the pictures and are a fraction of the cost of the damn fleetwoods, lacantina, friggin cool ass nanawall and others. www.g-ology.com. I can't figure out why websites put music on their pages but this site has it and thankfully there is a headphone you can click to shut it up.  With people having such varying tastes It is strange to me that they do this.  What if I hate cheesy chill electronica? just sayin'