A Road to Travel

So I have been feeling a little uninspired lately- hence the lack of posts. I'm not really sure WHAT I am doing. Trying to find inspiration, trying to find meaning in little things...hoping something incredible will happen that will ignite my inner fire and evoke a "Shazam!" outta me.
Is this what a midlife crisis is?
Am I REALLY middle aged, standing at a crossroads looking from side to side wondering what lies ahead at each end?
I imagine a dusty, desolate place with, of course, the picturesque nappy tumbleweed flipping across the steaming asphalt. The sun is hot on my head, my shoes may be melting and my skin has a most unhealthy tinge of red. It would do me good to make a decision and go one way or the other but I don't seem to be able to find my blind faith and for some reason the option to return to this fork in the road doesn't seem to be a possibility. Why would I want to return here anyway?  It has been my purgatory for such a long time now.
What I really need is for Zelda the Psychic to magically show up, pitch her Bedouin tent and invite me in for a lemonade. I friggin love lemonade.... So I would definitely oblige. She would be seated at a small table with a velvet table cloth with a sparkling motif that is either stars or swirls and it has a few shadows of a stain from a Starbucks latte. On the table resting on a hand carved piece of Balinese junk is a big hand blown crystal ball that emits a vague glow. She would say nothing and gesture for me to sit down with long fingers with chipped deep purple polish.  She runs her fingertips across the crystal ball and tells me which way to go.  Then the director yells "Cut!" and the First AD yells "Back to 1" and I have to go back outside and find my place where part of my shoe's sole has melted and become one with the road.
Yeah...not happening.

What is kinda interesting about this fork in the road is that in my mind it is asphalt. Why shouldn't my road be in the woods? or on the beach? Instead, I chose the most uninviting setting with two equally unappealing avenues and expect myself to make a decision on one of them. The sun is burning my skin, my shoes are melting. I could be  hiding under the shelter of trees, cooled by their canopy. I could be delighting in the sound of birds singing or a nearby waterfall. Instead I am only joined by an occasional tumbleweed and most likely a dead armadillo. Okay so now I am apparently in Texas. Wow...It is getting worse.  Why would I be able to make a decision?  I am looking at which way is "less bad" rather then looking ahead to a fabulous adventure.
Maybe THIS is something I need to reflect upon. I need to mentally change my "way" into somewhere that I want to be. I need to somehow make a decision that life won't be a trip through a desert in the Southwestern region of the US wearing melting shoes. I should try to be a little less Mad Max and perhaps be more Robert Frost about it all.

Lulu in the Troll Forest, DK 8- 2009

In Denmark, there is a troll forest that is called surprisingly enough the "Troll Forest" or Troldeskoven. The trees are gnarled and crazy with twisted trunks and the air smells damp and fresh. Under your feet as you walk is a thick cushion of loam and moss. There are even red mushrooms with white spots growing on fallen and rotting trees.  If there was ever an enchanted wood, this would be it. You can start at one end and walk a while. The trees begin to thin out and then it opens up to a desolate beach.  The day I was there a light mist hovered in the air over the sea and there was very little movement in the water. It was eerie and beautiful.  Why shouldn't my road be in a magical place like this and lead me to strange and wonderful things?

Most undignified tree ever

I saw a tree today that was trimmed to the point of having no top. It was just a trunk with a weird flattened round ottoman shape resting on it.  I stopped and looked at it for a minute, kind of marveling at the sheer absurdity of it. What was the point? It couldn't cast a shadow so it didn't offer shade. It certainly wasn't pretty, unless you have an affinity for lollipops.  It seemed that its only purpose was to be peed on by dogs. That is so sad and so undignified. I'm not sure how this relates to anything but I feel like it has to in some way. There needs to be a reason for it doesn't there? How it must long to be majestic and wonderful.  Don't we all?

I don't know if I feel like I am this tree or not but I DO know that I don't want to be anything like it. I WANT to be a part of something or someplace amazing even if I am just passing through. And I certainly would rather not see dead armadillos OR dancing tumbleweeds.